Yes, im really sad. Now is much different than one or two years ago. 

Oh God, can i skip this part? Can i? :'(

No,  i don't want to look weak. I want to always smile in front of many people. Although it's all forced and just a suggestion for the better. Im so terribly confused.....

I always wondered, "How to be a more positive and sincere person when we heard something unpleasant for us?". You know, we often talking to ourselves about something that might worrying us, or bring negative thoughts to us.. and I really want to eliminate that attitude in me.

And this afternoon, I don't accidentally open one's blog, and there are answers to my questions. And the answer is "dzhikr". Then i try... 

So everytime I start to think negatively about anything, I start to dzikir inside my heart and it automatically switch that negative thought into more positive...

Alhamdulillah, it works perfectly and I know this is an answer from God. Thanks God :))